I had an interesting experience (well interesting to me) a while ago.
I was having a treatment for my back and the practitioner took ages. I’d told him I needed to be away at a certain time. After about an hour I got restless after being really relaxed. I questioned myself and decided that I was mistrustful, as it turned out the guy forgot, I realised my mistrust of someone looking after my best interests was well founded, so I decided to resort to the normal level of my behaviour and assume in others relative ignorance, selfishness, lack of empathy, (nothing I disclaim in myself mind you), and take care of events as they enfold in my life, my self.
Here’s how it is for me. I have a credit card vaguely under control, I am a whiz at booking on line, I get enthusiastic about a play, some music, a film and I ask someone to go. I am a social secretary social A-type, while at the same time being a hermit.
If I say I am going to get tickets or do something I go right ahead, it takes mere minutes, usually. If I fail to get the said item or can’t secure the proposed outing I let the person know. Amongst my friends I have their trust, I have earned it.
I admit to being perceived as flaky at times, as I can renege on arrangements that don’t have a ticket involved due to exhaustion or hermitudeness, but in my defence I usually give hours notice. Such is my way of being, I am pretty reliable and as a result do not often have to put my trust in someone else’s hands. I do not usually allow someone else to look after my interests but sometimes I try it on, like a frock and see if it fits, it usually needs alteration.
I must place a high value on being reliable. In the past I’ve had relationships with really unreliable people and got coped up, adapted I guess, but you know, I feel so much freer, at peace, if you like, being in a world where I can honour my highest values.
Those people who are always right can readily dismiss other peoples’ perceptions and opinions as arising from deranged discernment and ignore the possibility of themselves being wrong or ill informed or ignorant. I remember working with the theatre director Nigel Triffid, as I walked into his rehearsal space for the first time I saw written on a black board in big writing,”THERE IS ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY OF BEING WRONG.” I took that to heart and it eased away the need in me to be right. I still get to be opinionated, judicious, sharp, astute while allowing for the continual possibility that I may be wrong-a-de-wrong, as in wide off the mark like a midget long jumper.