Balance

Sweet Balance…

This windy day has sent me into a spin.  I had to go out this morning and as I was walking along the street felt buffeted and distracted.  Children are ratty in this weather and some people  are irritable or just plain mad when the wind gets up some speed.  The wind hitting my bare skin is innocuous, in and of itself, but it seems to shake my brain about and I can’t think.

When I finally got back to the sanctuary of my house I started to research the effects of anti-depressants to look at the full effect from an alternative health perspective have a look at this article: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/05/03/tips-to-avoiding-depression.aspx
It debunks the idea that depression is merely a chemical imbalance in your brain and suggests that many people suffering from depression also suffer from self imposed chemical and life style toxicity.
Here is a small sample:

“You are a Fat Head, so Fats are Major Players in Your Brain Health
Even if you have a decent diet, nutritional deficiencies are pervasive and can easily contribute to depression. One of the most common deficiencies is high quality omega-3 fats. Many people don’t realize that their brain is 60 percent fat, but not just any fat. It is DHA, which is an animal based omega-3 fat.
Dr. Stoll is a Harvard psychiatrist and was one of the early leaders in compiling the evidence supporting the use of animal based omega-3 fats for the treatment of depression. He wrote an excellent book that details his experience in this area called The Omega-3 Connection <http://www.amazon.com/Omega-3-Connection-Groundbreaking-Antidepression-Program/dp/B001O9CFAE/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1302988610&sr=8-1> .

Another important deficiency is exercise.
There is simply a mountain of well-done scientific research pointing to the fact that exercise is one of the most potent treatments we have for depression <http://fitness.mercola.com/sites/fitness/archive/2010/07/10/is-exercise-the-best-drug-for-depression.aspx> . Unlike drugs, it is FAR more consistently effective than placebo when done properly.

Sleep is another critical issue.
You can have the best diet and exercise program possible but if you aren’t sleeping well you can easily become depressed. Sleep and depression are so intimately linked that a sleep disorder is actually part of the definition of the symptom complex that gives the label depression.

I believe the root cause of mild to moderate depression is unrepaired emotional trauma resulting in a type of neuro-emotional short-circuiting. Your body and life are out of balance. This is so important to remember, because as soon as you start to view depression as an “illness,” you think you need to take a drug to fix it. In reality, you first need to do whatever you can to return balance to your life, and one of the key ways to doing this is addressing negative emotions. “

Given the mad–wind–effect I’ve been pondering on the decisions and resulting actions that arise out of various emotional madnesses.
Here’s the list I compiled of emotions I have felt strongly and acted strangely upon, resulting in less that optimum or unhealthy outcomes.
Infatuation mistaking it for love

Jealousy mistaking it for ownership
Envy mistaking it for entitlement
Anger mistaking it for infallibility
Fear mistaking it for helplessness
Guilt mistaking it for wickedness
Indifference mistaking it for moral rightness


Don’t get me wrong, I have at times, like all of us, been healthy and made healthy decisions.  I come from a family with stiff upper lips, so learning a range of emotional expression came late to me. At first as I learnt to feel and express feelings I learnt that any emotion was dangerous so I learnt control.  As a teenager I became involved in the theatre and my first realisation was that I was physically stiffer than anyone else. I leant that my neck was stiff and that I had the emotional range of a teaspoon.

Psychodrama was big in the theatre group that I studied with.  Simple emotions with easy to express gestures I learnt In a basic fashion. Almost clown-like joy, exaggerated postural collapse to express sadness.  I learnt to express, but it took years and a plethora of experiences to gain any subtleness. I learnt to recognise the physical signs and symptoms of feeling.  The hollowness in the pit of my stomach signalling sadness, the tingle of adrenalin that comes with anxiety, my warm hands when I am happy.

I learnt to be careful of extremes of emotions, I learnt that what I feel is often the result of projections.  That is, seeing in others what I deny or dislike about myself.  For example If I thought someone was betraying me it was because I was in some way betraying myself.

A friend decided that I was attempting to flirt with a guy she fancied, and accused me of grass–cutting. I had spoken to said man but only in relation to a professional referral to a psychologist who dealt with singers.  I asked myself had I betrayed her. No I’d actually betrayed myself by allowing someone else to dictate my actions and direct my emotions. Often the very thing a person accuses you of is the very thing they themselves do in some form or other and deny.

Knowing about projection in yourself and its reciprocal expression in others is so useful.  It means that you don’t take others behaviour as a personal affront.  The control I learnt in my family gives me the space to consider events and not react but to respond.

Relationships with people are complex but the most important relationship of all, you with yourself is mirrored in all your relationships and as your emotional range, physical health, chemical balance and self awareness increase so does your potential as a human being and your potential for happiness.

One thought on “Balance

  1. Maggi, you are such a good writer – so amusing and informative. From having a quick read of your blogs just now, while sitting in the sunshine at my desk, I feel I’ve had a nice chat with you this morning (albeit one-way), got to know you a little better and been inspired and informed as well. 🙂 Lisa xx

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