Maggi Nimmo

I got poked today… for the cyber ignorant that means someone sent me a message that meant they were thinking of me and that poke didn’t require a response. It was a first for me… It sounds a bit rude but less noxious than prod, less strange than tickle, but I was thinking that wave might be a good substitute. When you’re driving and driving well you give way to people, you don’t tailgate, you are patient yet after allowing another car to slide into the traffic in front of you and receiving no acknowledgment it gets more and more difficult to be patient. Yet a wave from the other driver redeems all the irritations.

This activity when you think about it must make you realize how interdependent we are. If someone waves a thank you to you, just an open handed gesture, something softens inside you and you are subsequently nicer yet again to other drivers and pedestrians on every level. The reverse is also true. A few days ago a few friends and myself were discussing road rage, our own and the consequences of others’ self righteous anger.  A lot of people go about their lives with a sense of entitlement that is not warranted by their position in life or anything else really. No one is immune to this.

I was driving in North Sydney looking for a parking space in a relatively narrow street. I was driving at nana speed, I admit that. A big car swooped up behind me and within seconds is honking its horn at me and through the rear view window I could see a man flaying his hands about.

I found a parking spot and parked. Mr Big-Car still gesticulating and tooting rolled his window down and yelled unprintable insults at me. I was justifiably annoyed and stuck the middle finger of my right hand up at him.  Big mistake….he stopped his car got out and stood at the door of my car yelling more of the unprintable invective calling into question all sorts of aspects of my womanhood… I started calling the cops and fossicking for a pencil or eye liner to write down his car registration number.  He tried to open my car door, I thought my time was up but the door was locked and he settled for a vicious kick at my wheel.

My point being that Mr Big-Car had some issues going that had nothing to do with me and I connected myself to him by my immature need to react to his self absorbed anger.  Mr Big-Car was my greatest teacher, at the time.  I don’t give my anger away any more, I don’t connect with another’s anger by any outward sign or symptom.  I may be boiling inside but that belongs to me and the person who evokes anger in me is merely reflecting a part of myself I don’t want to know about.  Mr Big-Car by putting me in danger underlined in big-black–thick-life-texta that emotions expressed reactively can be dangerous.

This last full moon was a doozie, lots of tired people, lots of people being more than slightly nutty, behaving with a pronounced sense of their right to impose while vigorously defending their right not to be imposed upon.

Yamas are recommended codes of personal conduct to help bring you to inner clarity. Ten yamas are listed as “the self-restraints” in numerous scriptures including the Shandilya and Varaha Upanishads, the Hatha Yoga Pradipika by Gorakshanatha, and the Tirumantiram of Tirumular.

Patañjali lists only five yamas in his Yoga Sūtras.

The ten traditional yamas:

1. Ahimsa  (अहिंसा): Nonviolence. Abstinence from injury that arises out of love for all, harmlessness, the not causing of pain to any living creature in thought, word, or deed at any time. This and Satya  (सत्य) are the “main” yama. The other eight are there in support of its accomplishment.
2. Satya (सत्य): truthfulness, word and thought in conformity with the facts, honesty.
3. Asteya   (अस्तेय): non-stealing, non-coveting, non-entering into debt.
4. Brahmacharya  (ब्रह्मचर्य): being constantly aware of the universe, immersed in divinity, divine conduct, continence, celibate when single, faithfulness when married.
5. Kshama  (क्षमा): patience, releasing time, functioning in the now.
6. Dhriti  (धृति): steadfastness, overcoming non-perseverance, fear, and indecision; seeing each task through to completion.
7. Daya   (दया): compassion; conquering callous, cruel and insensitive feelings toward all beings.
8. Arjava  (अर्जव): honesty, straightforwardness, renouncing deception and wrongdoing.
9. Mitahara  (मितहार): moderate regulated appetites.
10. Shaucha शौच): purity, avoidance of impurity in body, mind and speech.
    

Five yamas of Patañjali:
In the Yoga Sūtras  of Patañjali, the following five yamas comprise the first limb of the eight limbs of Rāja yoga
They are stated in the Sadhana Pada Verse 30 as:

1. Ahimsa  (अहिंसा): non-violence
2. Satya  (सत्य): benevolent truth, absence of falsehood
3. Asteya   (अस्तेय): non-stealing
4. Brahmacharya   (ब्रह्मचर्य): spiritual advancement by education and training.
5. Aparigraha (अपरिग्रह): non-appropriation, absence of avarice, don’t be greedy
   

When I stuck the middle finger of my right hand at Mr Big-Car, I was being stupid, violent, self engrossed, self righteous, callow, reactive, impatient and definitely unfriendly. I was reacting, not responding, in a way not consistent with my own best interests.  Here I am reading ancient tracts in an attempting to still my restless mind, engender a sense of calm and create balance and I submit to my reactive self righteous ego, not unlike Mr Big-Car, and I give in to impulsive behaviour. The mark of an adult is the ability to inhibit impulsive and habitual behaviour.

The Art of Yoga is designed to create within you a well of peaceful reserves that enables you to respond appropriately, even spaciously to events.  The science of yoga, with it’s quieting practices enables you to use a precise methodology individuated to moderate your natural tendencies and balance your energy. A simple example, a nervous young woman is given smooth, soothing movements as her first practice. A stubborn, stoic, materialistic man is stimulated with physical activities that engage his mind, create discipline and eventually regulate his breath and consciousness. Yoga is a process for everyone and it is a different process that brings you into now whatever that is for you and gives you the strength, technique, discipline and desire to be at the very least calmer in the face of adversity.

So when someone gives way to you acknowledge them with a wave, when you meet someone’s eyes, soften your eyes and give them a warm smile, when you are disappointed with yourself move on and do something that rekindles your self respect, balance and relaxation, rather than waste energy on being your own inner Mr Big-Car. You can try the poke option but that might be too weird for the luddites, but tell you what it got me thinking about how I respond to the world.

Some of you may be wondering why I asked you to do this meditation/concentration exercises. Well this Friday (21st June) is the Winter Solstice for the Southern Hemisphere. The longest night. The shortest day. Traditionally it is the day you light a candle and welcome the return of the light, the turning of our earth back towards the sun. Two days later, on the 23rd, the moon is full and it will be close to us and appear big and red. The moon’s pull on our tides, inner and outer (we are after all mostly composed of water) will be powerful.
The ambos and police recognise that the full moon is a time of accidents and misadventures. One of my greatest teachers said, ”If you want to live an extraordinary life do the opposite to the common man.”
During the full moon people are agitated and often make bad decisions, injuries sustained in the full moon period, three days before and three days after, often take longer to heal. So do the opposite to the reactive common man and calm down, do some yoga, meditation and don’t opt to take alcohol and or drugs. Stay centred.
Those who have already started the Trāṭaka are reporting a sense of well being and relaxed attitude. I’m asking you again to start this simple practice and start with bringing peace into this world by creating its possibility in yourself..

Trāṭaka
I am asking all my yoga students to do this practice every evening or early morning until the full moon on June 23rd, and after if you wish for three days

Trāṭaka (त्राटक trāṭaka, tratak, trataka: ‘to look, or to gaze’) is the practice of staring at some external object. This fixed gazing is a method of meditation which involves concentrating on a single point such as a small object, black dot or candle flame. It is used in yoga as a way of developing concentration, strengthening your eyes and stimulating your ājňā (brow) chakra.

Stage 1 Light a candle, about a meter away. Sit in front of it. The flame should be at the level of the eyes so that it can be seen straight without being uncomfortable. Begin with slow and rhythmic breathing. While breathing in this manner, keep a steady gaze on the flame. Keep the spine erect, decompressed up. Keep your gaze on the flame without being distracted with disturbances or thoughts. If thoughts arise, simply let them pass; do not struggle to remove them. It is important to be wakeful and aware.

Stage 2 The flame will seem to enter, even surround you, and illuminating your inner being. it is good to then to let your eyes close if they tear up or you feel tension. Now, try to imagine the same flame with closed eyes as you were seeing it with open eyes. Ignore the strong after image. If you are able to practice Trāṭaka without blinking your eye, it will be easy for you to see the flame with closed eyes. The exercise is to enable you to concentrate on what is real without distractions.

If you wish to change then start somewhere and keep at it. To change behavior, you can change the way you stand, your posture and alter your chemistry, you can improve your diet or give up an addiction or any number of little and big alterations.

One of the most significant texts, The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, lists four perquisites to improve your life. Both happiness and sadness are guaranteed in your life. Building your inner strength allows you to have equanimity with regard to either, that is, to have evenness of temper even under stress. But even more so it is important to make choices that are more likely to lead to balanced outcomes for you. These choices are on a moment to moment basis with regard to short and long term issues. The parameters need to be simple if you are to have any hope of allowing them to be part of your daily choices.

The four behaviors that predispose you towards happiness are Friendliness (just be polite, end generous), Dispassion (don’t take things personally), Compassion (see events from someone else’s point of view) and Non Envy (do not envy or desire something possessed by somebody else). These behaviours are no guarantee of happiness but they certainly will help you to move in that direction.

If I look at the list above the main trait that brings people undone is Envy. If you are envious of others’ talent and success you will undermine your relationship with them and with yourself. In fact allowing and helping others to succeed without rancour allows you to have a successful personality.

So how do you go about changing your way of behaving and particularly controlling your impulsive or habitual behaviour?

The Alexander Technique, Yoga and Pilates, amongst other disciplines, teach us that bad posture, both physical and mental, can be improved in many ways. It takes time and in time you can learn to recognise habitual stances, physical and mental and emotional, and even though they may be familiar and comfortable in the short term, (compensating for an imbalance) in the long run they are often destructive. To correct them you must learn to recognise more balanced stances and when the old habit arises inhibit your impulse to go straight into it and allow, say the neck to lengthen and allow that lengthening to affect the way you carry your spine or be still when you would normally reactively move.

This idea applies especially to behaviour. In my family of origin I assumed many stances and attitudes both physical and psychological to protect myself. Mostly they consisted of avoidance and suppressive behaviors. For example looking people in the eye was hard because to look someone in the eye can challenge them. I didn’t feel secure enough to challenge anyone in my family. So I often felt that normal engagement of eye contact discomforting.

It is healthy to be able to meet someone’s gaze, so now when I am in that situation and feel the familiar anxiety marked by gut pain and chest tightness, I’ve learnt to allow the sane gaze of other people in and feel secure. In this way you can gradually start to make healthy and honest contact. Genuine contact with another human is your birthright. Your fears are your greatest teachers of self awareness.

Yoga writings and philosophy are not really spiritual teachings but useful hints and suggestions as to how you can become a better person, they suggest how you can over come your character and behaviour faults. Yoga is designed to creating a union between your body, mind and spirit. Its objective is to assist you to modify your breath and body mindfully to connect to your greater self.
The sacred texts describes the inner workings of your mind and provide a blueprint for controlling its restlessness.

Here are the basic Yamas (behaviour towards others) and Niyamas (self observations) from The Yoga Sutra by Patanjali (circa 200 A.D.).
In the Water-Babies by the Rev Charles Kingsley Link: http://www.pagebypagebooks.com/Charles_Kingsley/The_Water_Babies/ there is a fairy called Mrs Do-As-You-Would-Be-Done-By. I loved this grizzled old fairy and in some ways to the childish me they were an introduction to the Yamas.
1.    Ahimsa:  Be kind to others.  A comprehensive do no harm: not in words, thoughts, nor actions.
2.     Satya:  Tell the truth.   Lies aren’t inherently wrong but really they make life complex and are unnecessary.
3.    Asteya:  Only take what is yours.  Remember playing in kinder garden? Share and don’t steal.
4.    Brahmacharya:  Be respectful and reverent.  Though this can sometimes be interpreted as celibacy it actually means controlling your impulses, the mark of an adult.
5.    Aparigraha:  Share. Be generous, not greedy. Let your attachment to emotions and objects fade.

To achieve at least some ability to act on the Yamas you need to apply them to yourself and the following Niyamas definitely help. In other words be nice to yourself as well as to others.
1.    Sauca:  Be pure.  Self evident really, clean body but more importantly cultivate a healthy consciousness of gratitude for what is.
2.    Santosa:  Practice acceptance or contentment by allowing yourself to seek equanimity not from outside of yourself, but from within. Breath work and meditation really help.
3.    Tapas:  Do your work mindfully. Work and let the benefits of it unfold over time.
4.    Svadhyaya:  Take time to reflect and study.  Become an expert on yourself. Learn to appreciate yourself.
5.    Isvara pranidhana:  Be humble and unassuming.  You are one of many not one above many.  Know and honour your connection to the greater cosmos.

These precepts enable you to embody yogic balance, to be the best person you can be. If you had nothing to struggle with you would probably not even be here. But here we all are for good and ill, learning, growing, loving. Our job is to give our lives meaning by exercising free will. The meaning in your life is discovered not by the practice of yoga—but by its embodiment.

Your mind sends and receives patterns. The calibre of your mind determines how clearly you perceive these patterns and how clearly your messages to the world are understood.

A mind confused by emotions will have a limited vision. A mind confused by chemicals will be hard to understand. The world around you is complex and multi layered and it is really necessary to have a clear mind to see the layers and patterns lucidly. The yogis describe some of these layers as Koshas: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kosha

The five sheaths or layers (pancha-kosas) from gross to fine are:
1. Annamaya kosha. your physical body, where you are right now, your starting point for your inner journey
2. Pranamaya kosha is the movement of energy, the movement of your breath and the circulation in your body
3. Manomaya kosha corresponds to your nervous system and expresses itself as waves of feelings, thought or awareness.
4. Vijnanamaya kosha is your intelligence or wisdom body and refers to the more reflective aspects of your consciousness when you experience a deeper insight into yourself in the world
5. Anandamaya kosha this is the radiant core where unconditional love and communion with life arises
According to Vedanta the wise man should discriminate between the self and the koshas, which are non-self. Any Kosha cannot be the supreme self for the following reasons;
It is subject to change.
It is insentient.
It is a limited thing.
It is not constantly present.

So there’s your basics and everything else follows from that. I moved to San Francisco in my 30’s. It was the first time I had lived for any period of time overseas. It was the first time I had lived with my husband away from my friends… I was initially lonely and disorientated and worst of worst constipated, more information than you need but, I felt bewildered and chemically compromised. I was walking about in a strange country, a strange city and I kept recognising faces. I knew I knew no one in this city but I kept seeing familiar faces in the crowds. I was canny enough not to mention this to anyone. It was the first time I really examined what my mind was tying to do. As far an my mental processes were concerned I was looking for familiar patterns. It was a form of self soothing. Facial recognition is so basic a mental function we really don’t even notice its importance as we go about our days.

Facial pattern recognition is usually innate, but recognising the patterns of existence within you requires training and the desire to transcend the turmoil of being. The carrot the spiritual pundits hold out for us to totter towards is inner serenity.

The Koshsa are patterns within you teased together but distinct in and of themselves. Your body, as it is now, changes physically and chemically over time but it is the first step in your journey. Choosing to notice your physical condition s the first step on your journey of exploration, connecting your behaviour to your physical condition is the second step.

Regulating and being aware of your breath and pulse is the next step. The practice of yogic breathing (pranayama) can change, balance and regulate your sense of well being. This is a deeper step into the energy patterns that swirl around and within you. As that process of breath awareness intensifies your mind gets restless, your nerves get agitated and you start to become aware of your loss of discrimination as your mind starts to attempt to distract you. Often it succeeds. Be aware that as you sit watching your breath your mind and nerves bring out all the bells and hooters to distract you. The more agitated and distracted you get the closer you are to dissolving into the place of peace, bliss, stillness, serenity within you. This is the beginning of a discriminating meditation practice.

But here’s the cut, don’t get too comfy here because this place is just another staging post for another journey. The carrot as it turns out is a fabrication, an illusion along with everything else. You return to your body to the world and every pattern you perceive is the same but different, clearer somehow, you have refined yourself, but the world is the same, you just perceive it differently. Some of the filters that you saw the world through are dissolved but you are still in the world acting out your role. Bon voyage.

I found myself yelling at the wardrobe door yesterday. I growled, “Stay.” a few times and then a few despairing, “Stop it!” As I attempted to remove dust from under my bed and the door banged against me more than a few times.   Maybe it was the fumes from the eucalyptus oil in the cleaning cloth or maybe it was that the wardrobe had generally joined in with the general animating of objects that seems to dog me of late.

It’s kinda shamanic. Life can be described as meaningless or with a change of attitude every event can have a personal and cosmic significance, the Sharmanic journey.

I came across this type of thinking many years ago. I was on a treatment table near Curl Curl Sydney and I realised I was being bitten by a flea. I mentioned it to the practitioner. He had cats and I figured he needed to know. He said, “Think of it as a cosmic acupuncture treatment.”

I said, “Let’s not get carried away here, it means I have been bitten by fleas and you need to vacuum.” Well that shot to hell any rapport between the practitioner and my good self. I left and immediately went home and cleaned the bejesus out of my own treatment room, trying not to scratch my bitten legs.

Was my prosaic attitude to the bites just me not finding a positive meaning in life’s vissitudes or was I as usual exercising common sense? I’m going to pat myself on the back and say it was common sense, others can agree to differ.

All this is now up for question. You see sidewalks rise up to trip me up, shelves lower themselves to hit me on my head, jeans shrink while folded on shelves, tables migrate just sufficiently forward to bruise my legs as I pass them, insects scuttle across my kitchen floor just quickly enough to avoid my well aimed shoe. So how to Pollyannize these events, take a positive spin? Hummm?  I’m finding that difficult so I just snap, grumble and yell at the offending objects and insects that choose to annoy me.

“Talking to yourself Maggi?” well maybe I’m going insane or maybe the world’s former objects are really becoming animated and I’m about to begin a Sharmanic journey where every event has significance and meaning for my good self. Perhaps I can even find a better attitude, but a search for meaning in everything sounds exhausting. I think I’ll settle for yelling at my wardrobe it’s kinda satisfying and it really doesn’t seem to mind. Today it didn’t even try  to hit me but then again I didn’t attack it with my cleaning obsession, oil and attitude, all thanks to a flea in Curl Curl. If it wasn’t for that flea maybe I’d just leave the dust alone, ahhhg I think I just found meaning in something I thought was a random event. Damn I might have to redo my attitude.

How are you going after last week’s full moon? I for one tried to lie low but ended up having a really social week.

A few people have been coming to see me for tension and stress, nothing new in that but I’ve noticed that at the time of full moon people yearn for what they haven’t got in a relationship. They yearn for sex, they regret certain decisions that have rendered them single. At other times of the lunar month people talk to me about work stress, their children, their aches and pains. At the full moon it’s all about loneliness.

A very wise man said to me once, ”If you want to lead an extraordinary life, then do the opposite to the common man.” Driven by hormones and a breeding imperative that is biological not personal the full moon pulls us towards yearning for sexual gratification, or just for something that might in some sense fulfil that need.

So at the time of the full moon rather than indulging in the crazy influences at least moderate your behaviour, maybe get up early, meditate if you feel agitated, relax if you feel restless, decide to watch your thoughts and slow your breathing if you get nervous.

The personal cost of impulsive behaviour is short term hangovers or guilt, the long term cost is illnesses both physical and mental. So when the moon is full, go slow and you will evolve beyond your hormone imperatives and start to recognise that you are more than the sum of your experiences. If you are agitated then you will only try to alleviate that if your are aware of your bigger self, a translucent being having a human experience, then the emotional hormonal pushes will be easy to manage.

Watch that moon it can be tricky.

There’s a disturbance in the force today. Yoda’s not around to help so I have to fall back on my own devices and resources. The last few days have left a sour taste in my mouth and if I truly examine my experience I was the one who tipped the spoon of sourness into my own mouth.

On Friday last I had an encounter with a women who played a full gambit of sister games with me. Most women who play sister games are not aware that they are doing so and make competitive noises and moves unconsciously. Often when I have been in the position to inquire, they do have sisters and they competed and do compete with each other for attention, space, material gain or time. What was most perceived as missing became, as they grew, a dominant value that ran their choices in profession, partners or hobbies, in other words it ran/ runs their lives.

I don’t have any sisters so I come to this dynamic disabled and have to break down the stages and types of competition very slowly. Even so I often find myself with my flummoxed face on after an encounter of the sister kind.

A day or so later I was crossing a street, on my way home after teaching a yoga class a car suddenly decided to turn and had to stop suddenly to take into account my presence on the road. I looked up, feeling calm, as you do after a yoga session and walked on. The female driver of the car stuck her head out of her Mazda and screamed, “You couldn’t go any slower bitch?” Dumbfounded I replied, ” …(unprintable)… Only if you ask nicely.”

The ramifications or waves of aggression took a while to settle, but in a way it was a mirror for me. That very morning I’d been driving to the said yoga class behind an incredibly slow driver and while I didn’t scream abuse I did mentally ridicule, roll my eyes and generally internally behave like a hoon… As you become more aware it becomes evident that thoughts have consequences they are attractive, they fly like birds from your head and journey back in a new form. Maybe this is karma. If I had not inflated my self balloon with self righteous indignation at the slow driver then maybe I wouldn’t have attracted the experience of being on the receiving end of negative energy.

So what to do with such an odd experience. Well I usually worry at it for an hour or so attempting to find the key idea in this case the one that made me critical of slowness. The very fact that I was on my way to teach a slowing down class of yoga was not lost on me. But what I really ferreted out was that as humans we listen to the storms of anger and get really attached to them while not taking note of the whispering waves of peace that are available even in the midst of turmoil. The driver was necessary to humble me, and fairly obviously I needed balancing out. My little internal, outburst of road rage was childish, unnecessary and yet enable me eventually to find that place of stillness that is neither storm or blue sky. In that place the female screamer was a great teacher, and to her I say, “Welcome to the world, I trust you will find peace and a slow cooked meal at the end of your day.”

As I look at Easter I have to start with what is in front of me and I see sugar dumping children gorging on chocolate bunnies and eggs. I see a day of colorful, shiny wrapping and Easter cakes, buns, fish, church and resurrections.. But basically its a holiday.

The truth of Easter is actually an X-rated pagan mystery that is proscribed by the movement of the earth, sun and moon. Easter is celebrated on the first Sunday after the first full moon, after the spring (in our case autumn equinox) equinox.

Christians countries are not the only ones who celebrated a festival called “Easter.” “Ishtar”, which is pronounced “Easter” was a day that commemorated the resurrection of one of the Babylonian gods “Tammuz”, he was the only son of the moon-goddess and the sun-god.

In this myth Nimrod, a descendant of Noah (of flood fame) was born to Queen Semiramis. Nimrod’s father died and he married his mum (how Oedipus Rex of him.) In Babylon, Nimrod became a God-Man and Simiramis, the fertility goddess, Ishtar. Nimrod died and Simiramis declared he was the Sun-God, Baal and she the immaculately conceived Moon-Goddess, further more she claimed that she came down from the moon in a giant moon egg that fell into the Euphrates River. This was to have happened at the time of the first full moon after the spring equinox.

Ishtar the Goddess/Queen was, to say the least, promiscuous and birthed a son, Tammuz. He was was eventually killed by a wild pig. Queen Ishtar told the people that Tammuz was now ascended to his father, Baal, and that the two of them would be worshipped in the sacred candle or lamp flame as Father, Son and Spirit. Ishtar, was now worshipped as the “Mother of God and Queen of Heaven.” The lion was her symbol. In the Babylonian pantheon, she “was the divine personification of the planet Venus.

The story goes on, worshippers meditated on the sacred mysteries of Baal and Tammuz, and made the sign of the “T” in front of their hearts as they worshipped. They also ate sacred cakes with the marking of a “T” or cross on the top, every year, on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox. Tammuz was said to be fond of rabbits, how sweet so they became part of the Easter package.

OR
Ishtar was the goddess of love and war, above all associated with sexuality: her cult involved sacred prostitution and she herself was the “courtesan of the gods”. Ishtar had many lovers; however, she was fickle, she treated her passing paramours cruelly, and the unhappy wretches usually paid dearly for any attention paid to them by her.

Animals, enslaved by love of Ishtar, lost their native vigour: they fell into traps laid by men or were domesticated by them. ‘Thou has loved the lion, mighty in strength’, says the hero Gilgamesh to Ishtar, ‘and thou hast dug for him seven and seven pits! Thou hast loved the steed, proud in battle, and destined him for the halter, the goad and the whip .’ Even for the gods Ishtar’s love was fatal. In her youth the goddess had loved Tammuz , god of the harvest, and—if one is to believe Gilgamesh—this love caused the death of Tammuz.

Ishtar was claimed to be the daughter of Ninurt, he was a Babylonian god of rain, fertility, war, thunderstorms, wells, canals, floods, the plough and the South Wind. His name means “lord of the earth” and mankind owed to him the fertile fields and the healthy live-stock.

OR
Easter is named for a Saxon goddess who was known by the names of Oestre or Eastre, and in Germany by the name of Ostara. She is a goddess of the dawn and the spring, and her name derives from words for dawn, the shining light arising from the east. Our words for the “female hormone” estrogen derives from her name.

Ostara was, of course, a fertility goddess. Bringing in the end of winter, with the days brighter and growing longer after the vernal equinox, Ostara had a passion for new life. Her presence was felt in the flowering of plants and the birth of babies, both animal and human. The rabbit (well known for its propensity for rapid reproduction) was her sacred animal.

The deeper version suggests that Oestrogen, the female hormone, drives a female population to mate and breed. When ovulating a woman is attracted to those outside her family/village, unconsciously trying to strengthen the gene pool. Once pregnant she is again attracted to her safe home and family members. Studies suggest that female promiscuity was and maybe still is the driving force of evolution and strengthening of humans, a fact suppressed by a patriarchal church and society. So instead of a celebration of sexuality and renewal, Easter became a tame festival celebrating an event that is symbolic of sacrifice rather than representing the continual cycling of hormonally driven human evolution and nature renewing herself.

I don’t know if I can take it any more. I think I’d rather wash in toxic waste than read another article that cites a numerical designation to solve your problems, allay your anxieties, improve your life.

There are such heart catching gems as, 5 Steps to Improving Your Love Life, or even better 3 Steps to Great Sex, that’ll get you reading every time. Then there’s the (add any number you like here) best supplements/exercise for weight loss/flabby tummy reduction/reducing cellulite/or making you wrinkle free. Next category is the regimes or operations that will make you beautiful/slim/desirable/more socially apt.

Then comes the therapies and courses that will change your life, the fire walking, courses to render you into a productive, acceptable member of society. Well I say phawu to that, it renders you invisible. Acceptably thin, acceptably nice, acceptably acceptable. I call that a little death. Then there’s the word Authentic, I think I’m going to be sick, authentic must be one of the most horridly used words in the English Language. It has many meanings and implications and implies and perpetrates the greatest lie of all. You are a fake now and if you drink this, eat this, do this, think this way you’ll somehow magically become real. Well here’s the cut folks it’s all real.

I’m as susceptible as anyone to a catchy title that eats into the fabric of my confidence and make me believe that I am not doing something correctly, and that somehow it makes me not such a good person. Don’t get me wrong, there’s some great advice out there but it often is given in such a way to make you feel insecure, as if you don’t feel insecure enough already.

My legs are not perfect, my butt is too small/big. There are enough depressed people out there with low self esteem issues, who are anorexic, bulimic, who have mental imbalances without rubbing faces in how ugly, undesirable you are judged by some spurious measurement born of conservative rigidity and arbitrary notions of attractiveness or acceptableness.

Itzhak Bentov (1923 – May 25, 1979) was a Czech-born Israeli scientist, inventor, mystic and author. He wrote a book called “Stalking The Wild Pendulum” he is one of the most brilliant men ever born. He was being interviewed and spoke of spiritual leaders, pre imminent thinkers and suggested that rather than them coming from the high echelons of the corporate world, or universities they might often be found in mental institutions where all the misfits are put so we don’t have to deal with them. Itzhak is not suggesting that we should be led by mad men but he is suggesting that we do not listen to the thoughts that we are not comfortable with and that these thoughts are often the way ahead of their time.

You can see some of his interviews on you tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=movwZd36kyI
There’s a 10 part series of talks on You Tube called “From Atom to Cosmos.” that will enlighten you on what are the mechanisms of the evolution of consciousness.

So back to the topic at hand I’m not saying don’t read articles that contain information to improve your quality of life. I am saying read, study, because you are curious, interested or desire a specific knowledge not because you feel guilty or ashamed of who you are. You are where you are and to change, evolve, if you like, begin being free of fear. Being who you are, where you are is the best and really the only place to start any change.

Regards and love Maggi.