I had a dream last night, a vivid saga. I can’t remember the story, as is the way with dreams, but I do remember, the Meercats. Two baby Meercats had become entangled in a cloth, for some reason I decided to help. I got down onto all fours. The two babies trapped now apparently in two separate cotton bags rolled off. Suddenly Meercat adults squared off between me and the babies in bags. Their teeth bared snarling perilously close to my nose. I remained strangely unafraid, almost unaffected but really still, just looking at them. Suddenly the atmosphere changed and the Meercats relaxed and went about their business, there was no sign of the pups. One of the Meercats stood up tall, as they do, at least In David Attenbrough documentaries they do, and said to me, in the cut glass accent of a handlebar moustached, English peer, “You’ve been living dangerously for faaaar too long, it’s time to desist.”
I’ve been reading a book, The Strangers Child, it’s about the sweep of time and memory. Set in pre World War I years it moves through to the present day. One character said in reference to her memoirs, “It’s a pity I took so long to write them. Anything interesting that happened to me, happened after 6 o’clock and after G and T, its difficult to remember. ”
The story was peppered with Gin and Tonic episodes in stately Victorian gardens, shabby terrace houses, cottage kitchens and gentlemen’s clubs. Fairly soon I return to Australia from Sri Lanka and I was enjoying my last nights at Udekki.com, a tropical paradise resort. I probably haven’t had a G and T for 30 years but last night fresh prawns, and chilli pasta and good company called forth my recent reading history and I was given the mother of all G and T’s. The warm tropical evening drenched in sea breezes made me sleepy and maybe gave me my colourful and advice-full dream.
When I stretch the back of my neck long, which I do while standing 100’s of times a day I can feel the pull of my spinal muscles right down my spine. My neck gets long my weigh redistributes to my heels and my posture elongates. When I first started to correct my posture like this I felt like a Meercat, with its head poked up above the African Veldt.
I’m coming home to Sydney very soon to see my friends and family, check in on my house and generally have a knees up on Australia Day. Have I been living dangerously? Maybe that’s not such a bad thing? If I do desist from living so precariously then how do I do that? Do I really want to? That pesky Meercat, with his English Peer authoritative voice may be relevant, in an inner voice sort of way, or a G and T hallucination. Who knows? I know that in the last few days I have travelled to Kandy in Sri Lanka and stayed at two beautiful yoga retreats and returned to the sea side with a huge sense of gratitude that I have travelled so far, changing over time from an opinionated teenager, to an addled 20 something, a hormonal cascade in my thirties, ambitious in my 40’s, second winding my way through the 50’s and now I really don’t know what I am and it is of no consequence. Each moment turns my breath and my diminished appetites towards regulating and caring for my body and being. Now I, at least have the insight to say yes to what life brings and ask of life with no expectations of receiving, I think I might finally be getting out of my own way, I hope my inner Meercat approves.