I’ve been looking at photographs of myself. Some selfies taken at the Ayurvedic Ashram in India in December/January 2013-4. An attempt to see changes on my face from the treatments I received there. I looked so much more relaxed after 5 weeks, hardly surprising really.
Then I looked at photos from years ago of my laughing self, hooting laughter, bright eyes and then some photographs from recent days. Maybe it’s ageing, but recently my face is flat and smiles don’t reach my eyes, sometime they don’t make it as far as my mouth.
I love the work I do and I know I am good at it but something is clawing at my spirit. I’ve been telling people for about 3 years, maybe more, that I will not be around much longer, after they look at me askance and ask in alarm, “Are you ill?” Asking really about their own fears, I answer, “No , I just know that my time in Sydney is coming to an end, maybe I intuitively know the time of my own death, maybe its something else… I suspect it is.” That’s the best answer I can give.
For a few years I have felt as if I am walking in mud, slowly getting pulled in. I thought about this sense of being held back and realised that I was both the individual striving towards something unknown and the mud keeping me tied to the spot I struggle in. I asked myself, “What is it you want girl?” Given that I was talking to myself I decided to go right ahead and answer that question…”Well… what you don’t want is to do housework or administrative paperwork, you’re crap at it and it makes you tense.”
“Okay I thought I accept that but what do you want?”
“I’d like a change of environment, somewhere with space for me to work and be supported in that work. I love what I do but I’m out of resonance and patience with where I do it.”
“I’d like to be somewhere beautiful and warm and spacious where I can work and truly do what I love, help people to be more fully human, the best that they can be. I’d like to have the space and time to truly heal myself and be in a healing environment.”
There it is, a nice little collection of thoughts. I was happy to think them, but like most thoughts that pass through me I forgot about them. Or did I? A few days later I was offered a place in Sri Lanka to practice yoga and heal people, I said yes.
Soooo in a month I will have packed up my house put it up for rent and I’m heading off for a prolonged stay overseas. I am hoping to find my smile again…
As promised here is a link to the music I have been using in the Foundation Yoga classes I have been teaching since 2013.
Todd Norian, ‘Bija Soothing Music and Mantra.’
If you know anyone fabulous who wants to rent my house in Balmain here’s a link you can send them:
Finally here is a link to the place in Sri Lanka that I will be staying at:
You are welcome to come and experience yoga in the beautiful yoga pavilion I will be teaching and practising in.
You are welcome to come and experience the Aqua Yoga I will be practising and teaching
You are welcome to eat some of the best food in Sri Lanka and swim in warm tropical waters.
You are welcome to do the Foundation Training with me to heal your body, and make your spine whole.
There are about 5 people who are planning to spend their holidays in paradise with me.